If you’re being treated like an animal in every encounter you have, that’s probably a you issue. This advice will not help if no matter what you do or where you find yourself people perceive you as a non-human animal.
If for some reason you are purposefully exaggerating, and know that this only really applies in specific instances, then it probably will still not help you because I’m not sure someone legitimately concerned about others would exaggerate in this situation.
The reality is that no one is asking you to do anything. Women don’t owe you anything and if you don’t like the way they treat you and if you’re unwilling to make yourself seem like less of a threat then feel free to be upset at men that have put us all in this position. Women should not have to sacrifice their safety for your comfort. If you want to feel more comfortable around them you might need to put in the work to make yourself comfortable to be around.
The fact that I have to go out of my way to make myself seem less like a threat, simply because of who I am, so that I’m treated like a human. There is this idea that you should be able to be yourself and not apologize for it. But I have to run through situations and make sure I do things, but not too much. I can’t just keep to myself without being treated like I’m some threat. It’s insulting and it errodes empathy.
Women should not have to sacrifice their safety for your comfort.
Who the fuck is saying this? I’m asking to be treated like a person and not a predator simply because of my gender. I thought treating people poorly based solely on their gender was wrong. Guess that only goes one way.
What are women doing to make me feel like they won’t attack me? Do they have to disprove stereotypes just to be treated like a person? No. I have to make sure I make women feel comfortable and do this checklist of things just to be treated normally? I can’t just keep to myself?
Why can’t we just treat people like people and not judge an entire gender, on either side, with one sweeping stroke.
You don’t “have to” do anything. If you want to be treated in a specific way, you may have to act a specific way. That’s how society is. How are you not being treated like a human? You’re being treated the way that person treats all men. You’re not being targeted specifically. That IS how they treat humans. In what direction do you think it erodes empathy? Is it eroding your empathy towards women?
I’m saying it. Right now. If a woman feels safer pretending to be on the phone with a friend if she finds herself alone with someone she feels threatened by then she should do so without guilt. That goes regardless of sex or gender or any characteristic of either party.
Women have to do a lot every day to be viewed as equal or more than their gender. Women are groped in stores and on transit and in public places. They are made to feel unsafe and disrespected by a large portion of society. Why can’t they just be themselves? Why can’t they just act normally?
It’s very easy for men to say “why can’t we treat everyone like equals” when women are still struggling for equality. Trust me, that’s what we want, but we’re not there yet, and you focusing on how a subset of women treat men in specific circumstances is part of the problem. Women would gladly trade, so our main concern could be that men crossed to the far side of the street instead of is this guy just waiting for the right moment. It’s not a fun or healthy way to live. It seems like you’re right that empathy is eroding, because if I was a guy I’d be able to recognize that it’s not personal and she’s doing it for her safety.
I think that in this thread there is a lot of talking over people. It seems like you are coming from the empathy angle and trying to offer the most realistic solution, but a lot of the commentors aren’t talking about the actual solution. A lot of them are simply stating “i should not have to ensure i do not look like a threat” in a vacuum, which is true. They’re not arguing against the idea that “women should not have to worry about men”, they’re simply idealizing. Unfortunately things become more complicated when trying to blend those ideas.
If you’re being treated like an animal in every encounter you have, that’s probably a you issue. This advice will not help if no matter what you do or where you find yourself people perceive you as a non-human animal.
If for some reason you are purposefully exaggerating, and know that this only really applies in specific instances, then it probably will still not help you because I’m not sure someone legitimately concerned about others would exaggerate in this situation.
The reality is that no one is asking you to do anything. Women don’t owe you anything and if you don’t like the way they treat you and if you’re unwilling to make yourself seem like less of a threat then feel free to be upset at men that have put us all in this position. Women should not have to sacrifice their safety for your comfort. If you want to feel more comfortable around them you might need to put in the work to make yourself comfortable to be around.
This is missing the entire point.
The fact that I have to go out of my way to make myself seem less like a threat, simply because of who I am, so that I’m treated like a human. There is this idea that you should be able to be yourself and not apologize for it. But I have to run through situations and make sure I do things, but not too much. I can’t just keep to myself without being treated like I’m some threat. It’s insulting and it errodes empathy.
Who the fuck is saying this? I’m asking to be treated like a person and not a predator simply because of my gender. I thought treating people poorly based solely on their gender was wrong. Guess that only goes one way.
What are women doing to make me feel like they won’t attack me? Do they have to disprove stereotypes just to be treated like a person? No. I have to make sure I make women feel comfortable and do this checklist of things just to be treated normally? I can’t just keep to myself?
Why can’t we just treat people like people and not judge an entire gender, on either side, with one sweeping stroke.
You don’t “have to” do anything. If you want to be treated in a specific way, you may have to act a specific way. That’s how society is. How are you not being treated like a human? You’re being treated the way that person treats all men. You’re not being targeted specifically. That IS how they treat humans. In what direction do you think it erodes empathy? Is it eroding your empathy towards women?
I’m saying it. Right now. If a woman feels safer pretending to be on the phone with a friend if she finds herself alone with someone she feels threatened by then she should do so without guilt. That goes regardless of sex or gender or any characteristic of either party.
Women have to do a lot every day to be viewed as equal or more than their gender. Women are groped in stores and on transit and in public places. They are made to feel unsafe and disrespected by a large portion of society. Why can’t they just be themselves? Why can’t they just act normally?
It’s very easy for men to say “why can’t we treat everyone like equals” when women are still struggling for equality. Trust me, that’s what we want, but we’re not there yet, and you focusing on how a subset of women treat men in specific circumstances is part of the problem. Women would gladly trade, so our main concern could be that men crossed to the far side of the street instead of is this guy just waiting for the right moment. It’s not a fun or healthy way to live. It seems like you’re right that empathy is eroding, because if I was a guy I’d be able to recognize that it’s not personal and she’s doing it for her safety.
I think that in this thread there is a lot of talking over people. It seems like you are coming from the empathy angle and trying to offer the most realistic solution, but a lot of the commentors aren’t talking about the actual solution. A lot of them are simply stating “i should not have to ensure i do not look like a threat” in a vacuum, which is true. They’re not arguing against the idea that “women should not have to worry about men”, they’re simply idealizing. Unfortunately things become more complicated when trying to blend those ideas.
K