The Abbot of Wallingford’s flock,
Built a Mechanical Clock,
His ultimate goal,
Was the “winding up” hole,
Which he operated using his small key

There once was an Abbot called Rick,
Who had a mechanical trick,
A timekeeping gear,
Was affixed to his rear,
And the chimes were attached to his nose

Hmm, unless anyone can think of anything that rhymes with “clock” or “Rick”, I can’t really think of a way to make these sound rude.