I would assume that there are different ‘reasons’ that cause the broader feel of asexuality. Mine is a complete apathy for the want or need of it. I can enjoy making others feel good, such as giving them a massage in a normal way. I can feel that my work towards helping them feel good is rewarding in and of itself.
I figured out my side of things when after being with my partner for many years I was getting increasingly frustrated that while they were able to enjoy the experience for what seemed perpetual, my side of things remained the same, regardless of whatever was done. To feel the same for oral or penetrative felt like something was wrong to me so I started looking around at other types of options. I did whatever appealed to me but in the end none of it changed anything for me.
For other people, they may have a different kind of situation where the act in any form is uncomfortable which can be a personality quirk or in some a complete lack of empathy. Something that is blocking them from experiencing what is in effect a ‘really intense massage’ that some people crave. I’m not going to try and list all the various societal/personal/learned behaviors people have about sex across the globe which may play a part in their enjoyment/need/desire for sex.
Edit: cleaned up a small section I wasn’t happy with and I was hurrying at the end of my lunch break to try and get all the words out. And Also:
Anecdotally, I’ve been very lucky to have moved many places and seen many things, met many people on a close enough level that knowing how often they sought sexual activity. I know some people who are obsessed with getting some, some who are relatively indifferent, and others who equate it to a smooth drink at the end of a good night. All over the place in terms of how much they focus on it.
After realizing that I may very well be ace in my own right, other little puzzle pieces started to fit together. I was in a long distance relationship with my high-school sweetheart after high-school for about 5 years. I had no issues with lacking any kind of intimate touch, my partner needed it and despite all that cheating stigma, went ahead and found some anyways. It was important enough to them that waiting for someone to appear once every 6ish months wasn’t an option for them. I didn’t understand it then… because again, I had no issues waiting that long or longer. I would talk to them almost everyday and that was more than enough for me.
Oh interesting! Thanks for sharing. I didn’t expect from you to be able to explain it all. I just love hearing different perspectives as it opens my eyes to aspects that I missed.
I would assume that there are different ‘reasons’ that cause the broader feel of asexuality. Mine is a complete apathy for the want or need of it. I can enjoy making others feel good, such as giving them a massage in a normal way. I can feel that my work towards helping them feel good is rewarding in and of itself.
I figured out my side of things when after being with my partner for many years I was getting increasingly frustrated that while they were able to enjoy the experience for what seemed perpetual, my side of things remained the same, regardless of whatever was done. To feel the same for oral or penetrative felt like something was wrong to me so I started looking around at other types of options. I did whatever appealed to me but in the end none of it changed anything for me.
For other people, they may have a different kind of situation where the act in any form is uncomfortable which can be a personality quirk or in some a complete lack of empathy. Something that is blocking them from experiencing what is in effect a ‘really intense massage’ that some people crave. I’m not going to try and list all the various societal/personal/learned behaviors people have about sex across the globe which may play a part in their enjoyment/need/desire for sex.
Edit: cleaned up a small section I wasn’t happy with and I was hurrying at the end of my lunch break to try and get all the words out. And Also:
Anecdotally, I’ve been very lucky to have moved many places and seen many things, met many people on a close enough level that knowing how often they sought sexual activity. I know some people who are obsessed with getting some, some who are relatively indifferent, and others who equate it to a smooth drink at the end of a good night. All over the place in terms of how much they focus on it.
After realizing that I may very well be ace in my own right, other little puzzle pieces started to fit together. I was in a long distance relationship with my high-school sweetheart after high-school for about 5 years. I had no issues with lacking any kind of intimate touch, my partner needed it and despite all that cheating stigma, went ahead and found some anyways. It was important enough to them that waiting for someone to appear once every 6ish months wasn’t an option for them. I didn’t understand it then… because again, I had no issues waiting that long or longer. I would talk to them almost everyday and that was more than enough for me.
Oh interesting! Thanks for sharing. I didn’t expect from you to be able to explain it all. I just love hearing different perspectives as it opens my eyes to aspects that I missed.