• Nanokindled@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Yeah dude! It can help to watch queer things - maybe try Unhhhh, Ru Paul, or Queer Eye? Just to sort of…help you feel familiar with what you’re seeing and hearing. Being aware of queer ideas and spaces and vocab is probably the #1 thing here.

    Otherwise, if something like rainbow pins and stickers are too overt, and ditto earrings or nail polish, you could consider just sort of…looking fashionable. Hair and skin, nice shoes, well fitted clothes, color and flair, all of that (at least to me) signifies “I didn’t vote for trump and I know what a French tuck is.” Obviously not a failsafe metric, but it can help.

    It doesn’t take a lot to show you’re safe, most of the time. Another good option is, if the chance comes up w/o busting into other people’s spaces, put yourself out there a little or offer a complement or a supportive remark.

    Okay last thing. To really be safe, and be an ally, you may need to confront members of your family who pose a threat/risk to queer people in public. Telling off your homophobic aunt is a GOOD way to show who you are.

    • ArumiOrnaught@kbin.social
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      11 months ago

      Maybe I know too many “clean” homophobes
      Maybe I’ve seen to many people with a lisp that are homophobes.
      Maybe most of the time I see queer folk they aren’t all dolled up.
      Maybe I work blue collar and the only personalization to my person while on the clock are my purple boot laces.

      But I don’t quite like the “gay people HAVE to look good” vibes I got from reading the first half.

      Second half is good though. One of the people I used to work with let their kids painted their nails. So I did the same to make fun of people who complained that he did something nice for their kids.

      I’m also not the biggest fan of introducing with pronouns. Time and place, I’ve done it before and certain contexts it is good to do. I don’t like getting limited by gender. I would rather people treat me for me. I’m a “man” so I must abuse my spouse and never wash my butt. Or I’m an enby so I must be a soft bottom.