All the people you never want to see in lingerie are boycotting Victoria’s secret. Frank Gimblegork, a proud conservative entrepeneur, has started a business called “Bigger Is Better“ which promises an anti-woke agenda. Bra sizes range between “Big Booba™” and “Massive Honkers™” as “anything smaller and they probably aren’t even real women anyway” says the founder.
Customers report “I love that the itching is a constant reminder of how much I love my country” and “I love that they use teenage models as well, what good family values they must have.”
Update: Bigger Is Better shuts down as their sizes become most popular with plus sized women. “I just wanted big bahonk-a-honks.” Gimblegork announced through tears. “I never expected that it would help underserved women.”
Amy Hamburg, a local transgender woman over 6 years into hormone therapy, noted how the bras were uncomfortable, but looked decent for the size. “There was a lack of sexy bras in my size, but these actually fit well enough to wear until my girlfriend threw them on the ground!”
Samara Murphy, a women’s fashion historian, noted how leaked company prototypes revealed why the company had to close its doors. “They originally tried smaller band sizes, but decided the market wasn’t large enough for the desired cup volume. Apparently, Mr. Gimblegork didn’t understand how sizing worked until it was already too late.”
This just in:
All the people you never want to see in lingerie are boycotting Victoria’s secret. Frank Gimblegork, a proud conservative entrepeneur, has started a business called “Bigger Is Better“ which promises an anti-woke agenda. Bra sizes range between “Big Booba™” and “Massive Honkers™” as “anything smaller and they probably aren’t even real women anyway” says the founder.
Customers report “I love that the itching is a constant reminder of how much I love my country” and “I love that they use teenage models as well, what good family values they must have.”
Update: Bigger Is Better shuts down as their sizes become most popular with plus sized women. “I just wanted big bahonk-a-honks.” Gimblegork announced through tears. “I never expected that it would help underserved women.”
Amy Hamburg, a local transgender woman over 6 years into hormone therapy, noted how the bras were uncomfortable, but looked decent for the size. “There was a lack of sexy bras in my size, but these actually fit well enough to wear until my girlfriend threw them on the ground!”
Samara Murphy, a women’s fashion historian, noted how leaked company prototypes revealed why the company had to close its doors. “They originally tried smaller band sizes, but decided the market wasn’t large enough for the desired cup volume. Apparently, Mr. Gimblegork didn’t understand how sizing worked until it was already too late.”