Your tarot card for the day is The Sass.

Your prognosis is to keep shit posting.

It says it will change your star sign bro.

It’s like the inside of your thighs, except with a tongue.

Captain Zapp Brannigan: That young man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing.

I believe there should be slide sheets/ sleds and/or evacuation chairs in place for this.

Ahhh it’s ‘got no bowls to spare’

Football Manager for sure, although I do enjoy playing it equally.

Just a shitty version of Wolverine

Yeah, but he used to bullseye womp rats in his T-16 back home, they’re not much bigger than two meters.

Eww, no thanks.

Edward Cullen

Does it come with a sponge? Or is that an extra?

Slept in, set record, smoked, ignored messages and although I didn’t eat a frozen pizza I did cook only chicken legs for dinner…

To be faaaaiiirrr.

Not stolen, the gems are just resting in the museums…

‘Not to be associated with Kevin Federline’

I maybe partial to some Lord of the Rings.

“Randy, go eat a cheeseburger you basketball eating, walrus-ass mahfuckah!”

The man has standards. Whether they are realistic though?