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Deine bisherigen Posts haben nicht gerade den Eindruck erweckt, dass du in diesem Kontext von “wir” sprechen solltest - bist du in den USA wahlberechtigt?

If the computer has a PS/2 port that you aren’t using, you could probably power the device by plugging it into a passive USB adapter like the ones that came with older keyboards and mice.

It probably is illegal in the EU, but I have no idea whether it would be illegal in the UK, too.

There are adapters that allow you to plug an M-key SSD into that A+E-key slot, for example that one: https://www.delock.de/produkt/64137/merkmale.html?f=s

They should work on most computers, but some machines have a whitelist of supported WiFi cards and ignore anything else you plug into the slot for the WiFi module.

The only time I remember my cat having that problem was when a neighbor gave him cured deli meats