<Drinks vial of Unicorn blood to stay alive>

Solyanka is people!

Headline: RATS FOUND AT MCDONALDS

Next: ”I’ll trade you our lack of food for your lack of food”

Fuck you, Rupert

<Laughs in Mitch McConnell>

Propped up patsy

Elon is swiftly supplanting Stephen Miller’s role as the new Goebbels

Public appeasement plant 🪴

Haha yeah, they are about to find out.

Latino men who voted for Trump right now:

😬

Start by getting rid of Ted Cruz, Elon Musk, Vivek Ramaswamy, Melania and all the Trump kids.

Chaos

He pussied out on fighting Zuckerberg, too. His actual mommy had to intervene. Soy boy Elmo.

It was rigged

Phone home

When he learned he was hacked, Patel’s eyes crossed in confusion and anger.

Just kidding, they’re always like that.

The nuts are running the nut house

Thanks so much, Merrick. Thank you, Joe.

<wink wink>

—The “Justice” Department

Jabba the Musk. The Penguin. The Riddler Diddler