• MrCrankyBastard@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    A friend’s brother died. It was literally out of nowhere. And said friend is stick home with Covid - which isn’t what did him in, but still. Massive suckage.

    Plus it didn’t even feel like Christmas this year. Visited family, but…I dunno. It just wasn’t, this year.

    • hydrospanner@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      I feel that.

      About a decade ago, my grandfather fell ill around Thanksgiving and they found he was full of cancer, had a few weeks left, and sent him home for hospice care.

      I was unexpectedly laid off just before that, so, jobless, it became my job to pull the overnight shift there, tending to him, sleeping in 1.5h spells, and the next morning, being expected to stick around to keep company with relatives coming to visit my grandfather, playing host, etc. even though my dad and other family members were there.

      I was basically living on coffee and grief.

      That Christmas was an incredibly hollow ‘celebration’, and my grandfather passed in the early morning hours of new years eve.

      What helped me was just forcing myself to go through the holiday motions in the following years. I’m not a super Christmas person anyway, but just going to the parties, smiling, listening to the music, etc. Fake it till you make it.

      I still always think of my pap every Christmas/new years, and I’ll still have a few moments where it makes me super sad… but I managed to avoid having the whole season become “sit alone and mope in useless grief for a few weeks”, which is where my mind likely would have gone, had I not made the active conscious effort to avoid it.

      I wish you and your loved ones all the best.