It’s normal to feel like you somehow don’t “deserve” your life. Please know that many people around you have the same struggle, and to some extent it’s true. Who among us deserve even to be alive and aware and conscious? To live? We don’t. Nobody deserves anything. But we have it anyway - you have this life, it’s yours, without deserving or earning it it’s yours. That is wonderful and a gift.

What you consider your true self may also be an illusion, because you are not kind to yourself and do not see yourself objectively.

You may be faking it till you make it but at some point you must admit you have, in truth, made it.