Alt text:
A simple infographic with cute white text on a pale pink background which reads:
How to Level at Veganism
Lvl 1* - No animal products in diet or clothing
Lvl 2 - Talks kindly to plants before harvesting
Lvl 3 - Politely negotiates w/ insects to relocate
Lvl 4 - Avoids making noise to disturb animals
Lvl 5 - Avoids breathing out CO2 near animals
Lvl 6 - Does not step on animal shadows
Lvl 7 - Travels exclusively by stilts
Lvl 8 - Never eats anything blown on by wind
Lvl 9 - Only eats what has never been observed
Lvl 10 - Refuses to consume anything that may have existed in the past or future
*Honorable mention; not true veganism
Writing this comment as a reminder to myself that the humanest possible execution method for billionaires is ∆P incidents. We should really resume loading them onto improvised submarines.