“If you can’t stand the heat, go put your tiny balls in the freezer!”

-Catalina, GTA San Andreas

Also a big fan of C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

“Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong”

Sister Calderón: We’ve all lived bad lives, Mr. Morgan. We all sin… but I know you.

Arthur: You don’t know me.

Sister Calderón: Forgive me, but… that’s the problem. You don’t know you.

Arthur: What do you mean?

Sister Calderón: I don’t know… whenever we happen to meet, you’re always helping people and smiling.

Arthur: I had a son… he passed away. I had a girl who loved me… I threw that away. My momma died when I was a kid, and my daddy… well, I watched him die. And it weren’t soon enough.

Sister Calderón: My husband died a long time ago. Life is full of pain. But there is also love, and beauty.

Arthur: What am I gonna do now?

Sister Calderón: Be grateful that for the first time, you see your life clearly. Perhaps you could help somebody? Helping makes you really happy.

Arthur: But… I still don’t believe in nothin’.

Sister Calderón: Often, neither do I. But then, I meet someone like you, and everything makes sense

Arthur: Heh… You’re too smart for me, Sister. I guess I… I’m afraid.

Sister Calderón: There is nothing to be afraid of. Take a gamble that love exists, and do a loving act.

War… War never changes

Greetings traveler, there are new missions available at the New Haven bounty board!

28 STAB WOUNDS

You must gather your party before venturing forth.

Suffer like G did?

• I am Error.
• All your base are belong to us.
• It’s dangerous to go alone. Take this! Why yes I did grow up in the 80s & 90s.

Bonus from a newer game: “What have I told you? People are a renewable resource!”

“Aperture Science: We do what we must, because we can.”

EDIT: Also: “Science isn’t about why - it’s about why not. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won’t hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired!”

(Portal, and Portal 2)

Technology is incredible!

~Random NPC in Pallet Town in Pokémon Red/Blue

Lerooooooooooooooooooooyyyyy Ah-Jenkins

QUAD DAMAGE !!!

“I am legally obliged to tell you, that I am not a real docter” Dr. Zed from Borderlands (2)

Not going to cite the source, since it spoils part of this game, and it’s currently popular.

I have something to say. So shut the fuck up and listen. I spent thirteen years half-cut up to my eyeballs. Drunk, to put it mildly. Then suddenly I saw it, a streetlight shining in my face. 500 Gigawatts of the power of God. A vision of my bloated body found in some ditch. Scared me straight. So I got a collar shirt, mortgage and a credit card. All the things that make me a good man. I hoped I could raise my children to be better than their old man. I wanted to believe I was never one setback away from my worst self. But the truth is. Discipline. Drive. Routine. The endless fucking desperation to get shit done. A loving wife? Great kids? Sobriety? I’m telling you. You. Accomplishments I’ve been chasing my whole life. Never felt as good as I expected when I crossed the finish line… So now that we’re at the end. Takin’ inventory. Those nights spinning out of my head, sinking into the sofa. Broken glass in my palms. Bleeding dry the funniest thing ever. Old dogs laughing and snarling on a waterbed floor, mocking the moon for daring to show its face. All nausea and wreckage and vomit and ugly cruelty. The only problem in the world an empty bottle. Those were the best days of my life. Yeah… Those were the best days of my life. I got nothing to hide. Ready to face the music. I can see myself for what I am. But you, a cowardly, selfish motherfucker and you can’t even see it… I should’ve been able to protect the kid. If I could have done one thing right, I wish it had been to give him one small chance off this goddamned rock.