• foggy@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    From the makers of Cocaine Bear and Sharknado

    In a world where sharks are already terrifying,

    one drug lord decided to make them even worse.

    [Cut to a shot of a drug cartel dumping a shipment of cocaine into the ocean.]

    The cocaine is eaten by a school of sharks,

    [Cut to a shot of the sharks swimming through the ocean, their bodies glowing with cocaine.]

    and they become addicted.

    [Cut to a shot of the sharks attacking a boat, their teeth dripping with blood.]

    BWAAAAAA

    Now, these bloodthirsty sharks are on the loose,

    [Cut to a shot of the sharks swimming up the Hudson River, their fins cutting through the water.]

    and they’re looking for their next fix.

    [Cut to a shot of the sharks attacking a group of people on a pier, their jaws snapping shut.]

    BWAAAAAA

    There’s only one thing that can stop them:

    [Cut to a shot of a team of shark hunters getting ready to board a boat.]

    a team of elite shark hunters.

    [Cut to a shot of the shark hunters fighting off the sharks, their guns blazing.]

    BWAAAAAA

    But even they may not be enough to save the world

    [Cut to a shot of the sharks swimming towards the Statue of Liberty, their fins cutting through the water.]

    from these COCAINE SHARKS.

    [Cut to a shot of the sharks jumping out of the water and crashing into the Statue of Liberty, knocking it over.]

    BWAAAAAA

    BWAAAAAA

    BWAAAAAA

    Coming soon to a theater near you.

    Rated R.